The Lazy Gator Lounge

[bonaduce]

Had to shutter the lounge due to the pandemic, but rest assured we will be reopening soon with an all new exciting menu of food and drink just in time for your summer enjoyment.
Sincerely;
The Management

 

[paulwildridge]

I really enjoy these!

 

[TRG]

Me too, I really missed them this past season!

 

[CajunGrit]

Agreed!

 

[bonaduce]

Well gents with just 2 short weeks before the lounge officially reopens I thought I would let you all in on how we were able to weather the COVID storm.  We all know that once a person finds a watering hole they like, they and the other patrons become like a family and will do whatever it takes to be together, even if they are under lockdown.  So with that in mind, the lounge became a speakeasy and served only the finest alcohol and entrees that we were able to get our hands on, and with that I present to you the unofficial Lazy Gator COVID-19 lockdown drink and dinner special, soon to be gone from the lounge for good.

             PRUNO:  
             Ingredients:  3 liter jug of Cran-Grape juice, (or other juice if you want)
                                   1 and 3/4 cup of sugar
                                   1 package of bakers yeast
                                   1 condom (non lubricated)
             Procedure:
                                  Empty  enough juice out of the container to allow you to add the sugar and yeast, replace the cap and
                                  shake for 4-5 minutes.  Remove cap and place condom over the spout, wait 4-6 hours, when the condom
                                  is inflated take a needle and poke a hole in the tip.  Place juice container on your counter if you want and
                                  wait approximately 2 weeks, or the condom deflates.  You are now ready to drink.

            Slammin' Slammer Mac and Cheese:
                             
                            Ingredients:
                                                  Cheetos Puffs
                                                  Ramen
                                                  Summer Sausage

                            Procedure:
                                                Crush the cheese puffs inside the bag as fine as you can get them, you will not use all the
                                                Cheetos and do not ruin the bag, you'll need it later.  Next cut the summer sausage into bite size
                                                pieces.  Break up your ramen noodles and add them and the sausage to your Cheeto bag, add
                                                hot tap water and seal your bag with a rubber band.  Let stand and cook for several minutes for
                                                the ramen to soften and absorb the cheesy goodness.  

Pour yourself a glass of pruno and get a plate full of mac and cheese while hanging with your other COVID prisoners at the lounge.  Thanks for sticking with us and please remember to tip the waitresses.

The Management

legal disclaimer: Please for the love of all who is holy, try this at your own risk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

 

[TRG]

Speaking from experience, champagne yeast will work better. You know, better, faster, stronger, right?

 

[bonaduce]

       Wow, just three short days until the season starts and the Lounge gets to welcome back our rabid race fans, and some just rabid regulars.  News is the management team was able to save a few dollars during the pandemic that we are able to hire a house band.  I hear they sound much better after a few drinks. So with that in mind I present to you this weeks specials.  As we wheel our chariots around Barber Motorsports in good ole Alabama, through the 180 bender, the corkscrew and the ever menacing spider sculpture.  I hope many of you will be tipping a beverage back and yelling at the barkeep to keep your glasses full.                                                                                                                                                           
The Alabama Slammer:                                                                                                                                                                                         Ingredients:  
1 oz Southern Comfort  
1 oz Sloe Gin     
1 oz Ameretto   
2 oz Fresh Orange Juice

 Procedure:  Add all ingredients to a shaker filled with ice and shake.  Strain into a highball glass over fresh ice, garnish with an orange                             slice and a cherry, and serve with a straw for those fancy folks among us.

 All dinners will be served with a side of Alabama white barbecue sauce, and most likely deep fried!!!!!!!!!!!!                                                   
Alabama White Sauce:                                                                                                                                                                                          Ingredients:                                                                                                                                                                                        
2 cups mayonnaise
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 prepared extra hot horseradish
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice  
1 1/2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper  
2 teaspoons prepared yellow mustard  
1 teaspoon kosher salt  
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper 
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder                                                    

Procedure:  Mix all ingredients together in a bowl.  Whisk together thoroughly until creamy and smooth, cover and refrigerate until                                 ready for use.
Enjoy; 
The Management 
P.S.  Link to the house band https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fURYmOkKWjg .  Please support your local musicians, and remember to tip your waitress.                                                                                                                                                                                                      
   

 

[bonaduce]

Well what an exciting first round we had at Barber Motorsports, now we head to the to the mid-west and Lucas Oil raceway.   Indianapolis, home of the Colts, the Pacers, top fuel driver Antron Brown, the state that gave us Larry Bird, oh and that little race on Memorial day weekend,  The Indianapolis 500.  (had to mention an indy car for Paul).  Will these little wing cars be able to survive the constant turn left or feel the over whelming force to make a right hand turn.  After 45 minutes we will know the answer, and being inspired by Jim Neighbors and the glass quart of milk that the 500 winner gets to drink I present to you this weeks drink special.
The Grasshopper
Ingredients:
  1 oz Crème de Menthe (green).  Not to be confused with Heisenbergs blue meth
  1 oz White Crème de Cacao
  1 oz Light Cream
Procedure:  In a cocktail shaker full of ice combine all ingredients and shake until chilled, strain mixture into a cocktail glass and garnish with a sprig of mint.
Entrée:
Mom Unser’s Indy Chili
  1 pound lean pork
  1 medium onion, diced
  1 clove garlic
  20-ounce can of tomatoes
  3 small cans mild or medium green chiles
  1 pinch dried oregano
  Ground red chili to taste
  Salt to taste
Procedure:
  1. Trim fat from pork and cut into small cubes.
  2. Saute pork, onion, and garlic together in large skillet.
  3. Squeeze tomatoes through fingers, add to skillet with tomato juice from tomatoes.
  4. Drain and chop chilies.
  5. Add chiles, oregano, and salt to the mixture.
  6. Bring to a boil, cover and lower heat and simmer about 35 minutes or until thickened and meat is tend

With the success of the house band, the Lounge has decided to throw a virtual music festival and we were able to sign this band first, what a coup to be able to get these musicians to play at our little venue.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2eeGRiC8RY
Enjoy and remember to tip your waitress, cause I certainly don't pay them enough.
The Management
  

 

[TRG]

This is so awesome.

 

[bonaduce]

Sorry for the late update to this weeks menu, we had an unscheduled visit from the Health Department and several other agencies this past week.  Had an newly hired waitress make up the roadside sign with the weekend specials.  Well she decided to place this message "WE HAVE CORONA", hence the Health Department visit.  So during their inspection and testing they discover my chefs secret oregano, which now explains the spike in pasta dishes, and patrons asking for their oregano on the side in a Ziploc bag.  Thank god he is documented, Canadian,  otherwise we would have some serious federal agencies involved.  Some gator cash exchanged hands, a promise of some "retraining" with a bag of Cheetos and all was forgotten.  Enough, to Miami we head this week, sun, sand, hot cars and even hotter women in bikinis.  Oops that reminds me I have "retraining" class scheduled in 5 minutes better get a move on.

Classic Hurricane:
Ingredients:
[ul]
[li]2 ounces light rum [/li]
[li]2 ounces dark rum[/li]
[li]2 ounces passion fruit juice[/li]
[li]1 ounce orange juice[/li]
[li]1/2 lime[/li]
[li]1 tablespoon simple syrup[/li]
[li]1 tablespoon grenadine[/li]
[li]Garnish: maraschino cherry[/li]
[li]Garnish: orange slice[/li]
[/ul]

Procedure:  In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, squeeze the juice from half a lime.  Pour remaining ingredients into the shaker and shake well until the outside of the shake becomes frosty.  Strain into a hurricane glass filled with ice, garnish and enjoy.

Entrée:  Cuban Picadillo
Ingredients:
1 lb ground beef
1/4 cuo chopped onion
8 oz tomato sauce
1/2 cup sliced pimiento stuffed olives
1/4 raisins
1 tbs cider vinegar
2 cups hot cooked rice
fresh cilantro leaves, optional

Procedure:
In a large skillet, cook and crumble beef with pepper and onion over medium-high heat until no longer pink, 5-7 minutes.  Stir in tomato sauce, olives, raisins and vinegar: bring to a boil.  Reduce heat, simmer uncovered until raisins are softented, 5-6 minutes.  Serve with rice and garnish with cilantro leaves.

Also a special side dish for the holiday weekend:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aUNmtSgB0c   ,won't type out do to Homeland security may be watching my internet history.

For the festival I attempted to get Darius Rucker, unfortunately he was booked.  He suggested this gentleman and I signed him immediately.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK__-fGo_Ew
Enjoy, see you on the track and remember to tip your waitress, she is going to need it after her retraining.

The Management

 

[bonaduce]

Welcome back ladies and gentleman.  Hope you all had a good 4th.  Here at the lounge all was good, only one minor accident when a bottle rocket went of earlier than expected and wound up lodging itself in the cleavage of the waitress on duty.  The patrons enjoyed the show and some even offered to apply the burn cream, however I am finding it extremely hard to keep waitresses on staff this year.  So we end up in OHIO this week, what can we say about OHIO, let me think about this...…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..  Well I think that about sums it up.  Onto the drink and food specials this week.

The Buckeye Blitz:
Ingredients:
1 1/2 oz Red Stagg Cherry Bourbon
1 oz Grenadine
3 oz Lemonade (or to taste)
Procedure:
Combine all ingredients in a shaker, shake and strain into glass and garnish with a cherry

Cincinnati Chile:
2 lbs ground beef
1 quart water, or amount to cover
2 onions finely chopped
1 (15 oz) can of tomato sauce
2 tbs vinegar
2 tps Worcestershire sauce (pronounced wishitwereyoursister)
4 gloves garlic, minced
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup chili powder
1 1/2 tps salt
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tps ground cinnamon
1/2 tps ground cayenne pepper
5 whole cloves
5 whole allspice berries
1 bay leaf

Procedure:
Place the ground beef in a large pan, cover with about 1 quart of cold water, and bring to a boil, stirring and breaking up the beef with a fork to a fine texture. Slowly boil until the meat is thoroughly cooked, about 30 minutes, then remove from heat and refrigerate in the pan overnight.
The next day, skim the solid fat from the top of the pan, and discard the fat. Place the beef mixture over medium heat, and stir in the onions, tomato sauce, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, chocolate, chili powder, salt, cumin, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, cloves, allspice berries, and bay leaf. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to a simmer, and cook, stirring occasionally, for 3 hours. Add water if necessary to prevent the chili from burning.
Serve the 4-way,  ladle over spaghetti and top with raw chopped onions, grated mild cheese and oyster crackers.

Felt the festival needed a little southern vibe, so these gentleman will be on the second stage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFJ0EfWgZ3c

Enjoy, and if you know of a good waitress please send her our way
The Management

 

[paulwildridge]

I gotta start making this stuff! And heck yeah Indycar!

 

[TRG]

We are going to have a party. Everyone has to bring one lazy gator recipe.

 

[bonaduce]

Wow has it been hot lately, not only on the track but also weather wise.  With temperatures reaching triple digits to the west, ungodly humidity in the Northeast, and just normal in the South.  I have implemented a new dress code policy here at the Lounge, the staff can now wear skirts or shorts, although the owner is partial to the skort, and green tank tops.  Apparently there is another franchise that uses white tank tops and young women in shorts that has a legal right to that out fit.  I have to say the patrons approve, as the waitress has seen her tips skyrocket.  Speaking of the waitress, I believe I have found the perfect one.  Picture this, legs like Betty Grable (you youngsters might need to google that), Mae West endowment, and the face of Heather Thomas, hell this could be Heather Thomas.  The best part is she swears like a sailor on leave in the Philippines and takes no guff.  Which leads us to this weeks specials, a truly unique selection of items I have never heard of, and that's saying a lot for my liver.

French 75:
Ingredients:
1 oz gin
1/2 oz fresh lemon juice
1/2 ounce simple syrup
3 oz Champagne or other sparkling wine
lemon twist
Procedure:
Add all ingredients except Champagne into a shaker with ice and shake well.  Strain into Champagne flute, top with the Champagne and garnish with a lemon twist.
Entrée:  Fall River Chow Mein Sandwich
[font=Arial,Tahoma,Helvetica,FreeSans,sans-serif]Ingredients[/font]

[ul]
[li]6 oz - Chow Mein Noodles[/li]
[li]8 oz - Chicken Thighes (sliced into thin strips)[/li]
[li]2 Cups - Chicken Stock[/li]
[li]1/2 - Large White Onion (cut into thin slices)[/li]
[li]1 - Celery Stalk (cut into thin slices)[/li]
[li]2 tsp - Minced Onion[/li]
[li]2 TBS - Molasses[/li]
[li]2 oz - Fresh Bean Sprouts or 1 can drained[/li]
[li]2 TBS - Corn Starch             .[/li]
[li]2 TBS - Water[/li]
[li]2 - Hamburger Buns[/li]
[li]Oil for frying[/li]
[/ul]
[font=Arial,Tahoma,Helvetica,FreeSans,sans-serif]Directions[/font]
[ul]
[li]Cook noodles according to directions on package minus 2 mintues.[/li]
[li]Rinse under cold water and drain well.[/li]
[li]In a wok or skillet over medium high heat, add 2 TBS oil and stir fry chicken for 2 minutes.[/li]
[li]Add onion, celery and continue stir frying until onions and celery begin to sweat.[/li]
[li]Add garlic, bean sprouts and stir fry 1 more minute.[/li]
[li]Add chicken stock,  molasses and bring to a boil.[/li]
[li]Reduce heat to medium low and simmer for 5 minutes.[/li]
[li]Mix cornstarch and water together and stir into the gravy.[/li]
[li]Once thickened turn heat to low to keep warm.[/li]
[li]In a medium skillet over medium heat fry noodles in 1/4" inch of oil for 3-4 minutes.[/li]
[li]Flip and cook 2-3 more minutes.[/li]
[li]Place fried noodles on top of bottom have of hamburger bun.[/li]
[li]Cover with gravy, then top with the top half of the bun.[/li]
[/ul]

As for the artist being added to the festival, they are a truly unique (see a pattern here),  Definitely!!!!!  I attempted to get the original band back together, but was informed that was totally not going to happen no matter how many tens I could come up with.  I was then informed that the best cover band was still out of reach financially, so the promoter suggested these fine young gentleman.  Close your eyes you can't tell if it's live or Memorex.  (youngins google it) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBVzbjEtI1g
Enjoy
The Management

 

[bonaduce]

As we start another week of road battles, I feel a little saddened.  Like the hallowed grounds of Augusta National the Lounge has had to make changes to keep up with the ever changing needs of society.  It all began with hiring the new waitress, business picked up allowing more money to be brought home to MAMA Gator who wondered why business was so good.  Well she stopped by and saw the Lounge, it's clientele and menu and decided some things had to change.  She says that woman enjoy racing, drinking and eating just as much as men do so I was forced to add a lighter fare to the menu to please mama (you married men know what I'm talking about).  Then she finds out the race this week is at Watkins Glen and tells me she is doing the specials this week.  I said have at it, I'm going golfing, I leave the Lounge in your hands and with that, here are this weeks specials straight from her neck of the woods, the Lounges version of a salad.
Entre: Utica Greens
Ingredients:
For the Oreganato:
  ½ cup extra-virgin olive oil
  1 cup bread crumbs
  ½ cup Parmigiano-Reggiano, grated
For the Greens:
  1 head escarole, about 1 1/4 pound, bottom removed, leaves separated and washed thoroughly to remove grit
  2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
  4 slices prosciutto (about 2 ounces), sliced thin and cut into roughly 1-inch squares
  4 to 6 hot cherry peppers (pickled will do if you can't find fresh), tops and seeds removed, broken by hand or chopped into 4 or 5 chunks
  2 cloves garlic, minced
  ½ teaspoon kosher salt
  ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  ½ cup Parmigiano-Reggiano, grated, plus 2 or more tablespoons for garnish
Preparation:
1) Bring a large pot of water to boil over high heat. Prepare an ice bath in a large bowl and set aside.
2) Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, prepare the oreganato: Mix the oil, bread crumbs and cheese until well blended. It should have the texture of moist beach sand. Set aside.
3) When the water is boiling, blanch the greens until they are nearly limp but still a little firm, about 1 to 2 minutes. Plunge them into the ice bath to stop the cooking. Remove and drain them well in a colander or salad spinner, allowing them to remain moist but not dripping wet. Squeeze just a little of the moisture from them, then chop them into 2-inch pieces. Set aside.
4) Heat the broiler. Coat a large pan with the olive oil. Over medium heat, sauté the prosciutto, cherry peppers and garlic until the prosciutto is browned and slightly crisp, about 5 minutes. (Lower heat slightly if garlic begins to brown too quickly.) Add the chopped greens to the pan, season with salt and pepper and stir to mix well.
5) Add 1/2 cup Parmigiano-Reggiano and 1/2 cup of the oreganato. Cook 3 to 4 minutes, stirring frequently to blend, scraping the bottom of the pan to keep the oreganato from burning.
6) Sprinkle another 1/4 cup oreganato atop the greens. (Save leftover oreganato for use in another greens dish, or add it to baked chicken or shrimp.) Place the pan under the broiler and broil until the top browns, about 2 minutes. Remove from the broiler and sprinkle a bit more cheese on the dish. Serve immediately with couple slices of Italian bread.  

Pair with a Red Wine, which MAMA Gator has had much experience with and she has suggested this winery for that vintage.
-Penguin Bay Winery in Watkins Glen-
   Maroon Four, A dry oak-aged Shiraz Style blend with great black pepper and berry fruits with a smooth finish that is not overly tannic. This wine is made primarily from two new red grape varieties developed by Cornell University, Corot Noir and Noiret. Lemberger and Cabernet Sauvignon add to this unique blend. 

This weeks addition to the festival is also from the region: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rZJzrkvAXY

Enjoy, and remember to tip your waiter this week.

The Management

 

[TRG]

This is some seriously underrated epic shit dano. Love it.

 

[bonaduce]

   Sorry for the late update to the Lounge this week.  Mama gator has giving me another week off.  I can't complain she has done a wonderful job so far.  Women are coming from all over the place to eat and drink, have even gotten a few new male customers also.  Mama did do some hiring to help with uptick in sales, all men, and I am not sure how I feel about their uniforms.  Tight leather shorts, black t-shirt, cowboy hat and boots, but as long as the money keeps rolling in, I am not complaining.  As I sit here at the 19th hole of my favorite golf course enjoying a cold beer I thought I would check in with the patrons.  Road America this week, Wisconsin bound we go, home of the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, cheese and brats, Willem Dafoe, Harry Houdini, and Chris Farley, poured a sip out for my homey.  When I  asked what Mama thinks about Wisconsin, she replied cold, close to Canada, and burley lumberjacks that you want to snuggle with.  She then informed me of this weeks specials.

Brandy Old Fashioned:
Ingredients:
 2 Orange slices
 2 Brandied or maraschino cherries
 3 dashes Angostura bitters
 1 Sugar cube
 1 dash 7Up/Sprite, seltzer or sour soda (sour mix and soda water)
 2 oz Brandy
 Garnish: Brandied or maraschino cherry
 Garnish: Orange slice

Procedure:
 Add all of the ingredients except for the brandy to an Old Fashioned glass and muddle.
 Add ice to fill the glass, add the brandy, then top with the 7Up/Sprite (or seltzer or sour soda).
 Garnish with a skewered brandied or maraschino cherry and an orange slice.

Entree: Blue Cheese Stuffed Tenderloin
Ingredients:
 Head roast of tenderloin, approximately 1 to 1 1/2 pounds
 Kosher salt
 Freshly ground black pepper
 Olive oil
 3 ounces blue cheese

Procedure:
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.
 -Slice roast open lengthwise in middle to create a pocket, being careful to not slice all the way through.
 -Salt and pepper the meat on all sides.
 -Heat a grill pan over high heat and brush roast with olive oil. Sear the roast on all sides. Remove from the heat, tent with foil and allow to rest for 15 minutes.
 -After the meat has rested, stuff pocket with the blue cheese. Tie the whole thing together with kitchen string. Return the tied meat to the grill pan, place into the oven and cook until it reaches an internal temperature of 125 degrees F, approximately 20 to 25 minutes. Remove from the oven, wrap in aluminum foil and allow to rest 15 minutes before serving.

Mama also decided that the festival needed a little bit of a down home feel, she suggested these fine musicians.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22AxWRuEC2s

Enjoy, and remember to tip your waitress, oops waiter.
The management
 

 

[bonaduce]

Another week has gone by and mama still has me out on the golf course.  I did stop by the lounge this week to check the receipts and to make sure all was going well.  I must say that what ever she is doing is working, profits are up over 200% and the female clientele outnumber the men by a ratio of 5:1.  Mama has started a little renovation, she says that the upscale clientele likes to have VIP booths, so she has had 4 put in along with privacy curtains.  When I asked her what should be this weeks special, all she said was sloppy and wet, and with a grin she turned around and left the office.  As I got an early tee time tomorrow, and the jokes for West Virginia can write themselves, lets get down to business.

Drink Special:
The Yellowhammer:
Ingredients:
 ½ oz Absolut Vodka
 ½ oz Light Rum
 ½ oz Amaretto
 1 oz Orange Juice
 2 oz Pineapple Juice
 1 Slice Orange
 Ice Cubes
Procedure:
  Fill a highball glass with ice cubes.  Add all ingredients, and garnish with an orange slice.  Feel free to add maraschino cherries if you wish

Entree:
Hillbilly Ribs:
Ingredients:
 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
 4 pounds country-style pork ribs
 1 (12-ounce) bottle chili sauce
 1 /2 cup water
 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
 1 tablespoon yellow mustard

 1/4 cup brown sugar
Procedure:
In a soup pot over medium-high heat, heat oil until hot; cook ribs 8 to 10 minutes or until brown on all sides.  Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine remaining ingredients; mix well.  Reduce heat to medium and drain off excess liquid. Pour sauce mixture over ribs, partially cover, and cook 1-1/2 hours or until ribs are cooked through and tender, turning occasionally.

As for this weeks entertainment for the festival, I have spared no expense in getting this performer.  I was able to reunite his band and get the highly technical expertise to make it all happen "live" in front of your eyes.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUmnTfsY3hI
 
Enjoy, and remember to tip your waiter.

Management

 

[Wingnut]

How do you know the tooth brush was invented in WV? Any place else it would have been a teeth brush.

WV, where the men are men, the women are men, and the sheep run like hell.

WV, where you go to a family reunion to find a spouse.

If you get a divorce in WV, are you still brother and sister?

Honest officer, I was only helping the sheep over the fence.

 

[bonaduce]

Wow has this summer been flying by.  It only took me 8 weeks to get that old geezer of a husband of mine out of the lounge for more than a week.  I sent him to a golf school in Vermont, he needs to work on his game.  So with that out of the way let me introduce you gentleman to  Le Salon Alligator Paresseux.  Gone are the watered down well drinks, dirty glasses, sloppy drunks and bimbo waitresses.  We now cater to the working woman.  Every lady that walks through the door is greeted with a cosmopolitan or cucumber water, a rose and a foot massage.  What they don't get at home from their husbands, my waitstaff will provide.  Did I mention that the staff has to look like younger versions of Tom Selleck or Sam Elliot, oooohhhhh those mustaches.  Excuse me for a second boys, I need to compose myself.  Of course all are welcome, even race fans, but you men better behave yourselves.  After all, you are the prey here!!!!  So looking at the schedule it appears you boys are racing around Detroit this week, the Motor City I believe.  With its close proximity to Canada, most alcohol came through its streets during prohibition, and where would we be if it didn't.  The first paved mile, motown records, the Tigers oh my, Magnum loved the Tigers, and the only major city in America that Canadians have to drive north to.  Good luck boys your going to need it on those mean streets.  Now for the specials.

Drink Special:
Hummer Cocktail:
Ingredients
  4 large scoops coffee ice cream
  1 oz amber rum
  1 oz Kahlua
  2 ice cubes
Instructions
  Blend everything in a blender just until smooth. Serve with a straw (or two)

Entre:  The geezer won't serve it but I will
Poutine:
Ingredients
Poutine Gravy:
  3 Tbsp cornstarch
  2 Tbsp water
  6 Tbsp unsalted butter
  1/4 cup unbleached all purpose flour
  20 oz beef broth
  10 oz chicken broth
  Pepper, to taste
For Deep Fried Fries:
  2 lbs Russet potatoes ((3-4 medium potatoes))
  Peanut or other frying oil
Toppings:
  1 - 1 1/2 cups white cheddar cheese curds ((Or torn chunks of mozzarella cheese would be the closest substitution))
Procedure:
  -Prepare the gravy: In a small bowl, dissolve the cornstarch in the water and set aside.
  -In a large saucepan, melt the butter. Add the flour and cook, stirring regularly, for about 5 minutes, until the mixture turns golden brown.
  -Add the beef and chicken broth and bring to a boil, stirring with a whisk. Stir in about HALF the cornstarch mixture and simmer for a minute or so. If you'd like your gravy thicker, add a more of the cornstarch mixture, in small increments, as needed, to thicken. Season with pepper. Taste and add additional salt, if necessary, to taste. Make ahead and re-warm or keep warm until your fries are ready.
  -For Deep-Fried Fries: Prepare your potatoes and cut into 1/2-inch thick sticks. Place into a large bowl and cover completely with cold water. Allow to stand at least one hour or several hours. When ready to cook, heat your oil in your deep fryer or large, wide, heavy cooking pot to 300° F.
  -Remove the potatoes from the water and place onto a sheet of paper towel. Blot to remove as much excess moisture as possible.
  -Add your fries to the 300°F oil and cook for 5-8 minutes, just until potatoes are starting to cook but are not yet browned. Remove potatoes from oil and scatter on a wire rack. Increase oil temperature to 375°F Once oil is heated to that temperature, return the potatoes to the fryer and cook until potatoes are golden brown. Remove to a paper towel-lined bowl.
  -To Prepare Poutine: Add your fried or baked fries to a large, clean bowl. Season lightly with salt while still warm. Add a ladle of hot poutine gravy to the bowl and using tongs, toss the fries in the gravy. Add more gravy, as needed to mostly coat the fries.
  -Add the cheese curds and toss with the hot fries and gravy. Serve with freshly ground pepper. Serve immediately.

As for the festival artist, I have selected only the best entertainer that the geezers money can afford, and women just swoon for this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6NJBIMzEic
Enjoy
The New Management, bitches